RajinikanthJokes.com

2012 Post (Scroll Below)  

* The only time Rajini needed a body double was crying scene !

* Rajinikanth knows why this kolaveri kolaveri Di

* Once Rajinikanth threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then grenade exploded !

* Sachin : The God of cricket......        Sehwag: The Rajinikanth of cricket

* Rajinikanth can kill a living room....

* Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Rajnikanth once killed four birds with half a stone.
    What? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? Well, the four dead birds didn't think so either.

* Rajinikanth can give missed call to his own number..!

* God created Earth and Heaven in 6 days , on 7th day he rested then he created Rajinikanth !



2011 Post

* Einstein Said: Everything is relative.
   Karunanidhi said: Relative is everthing.
   Rajinikanth said: I am everything.

* Rajinikanth doesn't answer nature's call. Nature answers Rajinikanth's call

* Govt of India pays tax to Rajinikanth for living here

* When Rajinikanth goes to a gym to workout, no one can workout since Rajini uses all the weights available.

* Einstein said you can't move at the speed of light, obviously he was never kicked by Rajinikanth

* Why Himalayas are rising? It's simple. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai. Lever effect.

* Adam and Eve are children of Rajinikanth

* Rajinikanth is so fast that he always comes yesterday

* Rajinikanth can get rid of his shadow

* Rajini's fav desert: Lal michi ki meetha kheer

* Rajini can eat dosa with chop sticks

* Tornado changes course when it sees Rajini standing in it's way

* Police dept is bored because of 0 crime in the city where rajini lives

* Gabbar singh forgets his dialogues when he sees Rajinikanth

* Rajini won the best actor oscar for his acting in a game of dumb charades

* The box office collection of the movie RA-One Was less than parking collection of ROBOT.......!

* Once Rajnikanth became the coach of Indian cricket team and guess wha India won the Fifa world cup !

* People update status from BlackBerry, iPhone, iPad, etc. Rajinikant updates his facebook status with a calculator !!

* Rajinikant got 150 questions in exam paper asking - "Solve any 100 questions" He solved all 150 and wrote, " Rascalla!, CHECK ANY 100!"

* Rajini participates in long jump once every four year.... And those years are called LEAP year

* Once Rajnikanth entered bigg boss...The next day announcement was made... Rajnikanth chahte hai ki bigg boss confession room me aaye

* Once Rajni was the guest contestant in KBC. Amitabh says: Computerji, Rajnikantji to phela sawaal poochiye. Computer: main lifeline use karna chahta hu.

* Ek bar Rajinikanth ne ek aadmi ko "Go to Hell" kaha... That person is now known as Yamraj !!

* Rajinikanth knows Ek chutki sindur ke kimat... Rs 0.0234355884

* Once Rajinikanth told joke to a little kid... Now he is known as laughing buddha

* Rajinikanth can cure cancer with his first aid box

* Once Rajinikanth used the support of a building to tie his shoe lace, the building is known as Leaning tower of Pisa.

* Rajinikanth knows those two persons.. who shake hands in NOKIA cell phones...!!

* Ram and Ravan were in a serious fight..
In the middle of the fight Ravan suddenly stopped after he saw someone standing behind Ram
Ravan : Acha chal bye..
Ram : Arey kya hua?
Ravan : Kuch nai ..bas bye
Ram : Arey lekin hua kya??
Ravan : Itni si baat ke liye Rajinikanth ko kyun bulaya yaar? :-)

* Rajinikanth's dog can bend a pipe with it's tail.

* Lord Shiva: Mera Trishul kahan hai ?
Parvati: Rajnikanth le gaya.
Shiva: Kyun?
Parvati: Maggi khaane ke liye !!!

* Michael Jackson's moon walk is no match for Rajinikanth's Sun Walk...

* Rajinikanth Calls In Indian Airlines- how long it takes for a flight from Chennai to Kolkata?
Airline:1 hour Sir.
Rajnikanth: Issey accha mein paidal chala jau..



Dec '2010 Post

Week 3

* Munni Badnaam hui Rajinikanth ke liye

* Rajinikanth can make his wife admit her mistakes

* Rajinikanth doesn't enjoy animation movies because he can see the gaps between the 24 frames every second

* The reason why Rajinikanth stuttered in the movie Darr, because he saw Rajinikanth behind Juhi

* When Rajinikanth gets depressed, the world faces great depression

* Rajinikanth is a vegetarian… He doesn't eat animals until he first puts them into vegetative state with his blow

* If Rajinikanth's PC hangs… its time for next windows release…

* Rajinikanth can sneeze with open eyes.

* Rajini is the reason why we don't have any other superheros in India

* Rajinikanth can make 2 parallel lines intersect just by staring at them.


Week 2

* Rajinikanth can make dog say "Meow" !!

*
Santa Claus waits for a gift from Rajinikanth every Christmas.

* Rajinikanth taught yoga to Baba Ramdev.

* Rajinikanth taught us all... Impossible is nothing...

* One of Rajinikanth's hobby: Swimming on Tsunami.

* Sh!t happens to everyone.. Even to Rajini... One time he coudn't kill 100 bears with a single punch but only 99 died.

* Rajinikanth uses Ambuja cement as tooth powder

* Once Rajinikanth dropped a coin while he was standing in the belcony... He went down to pick it up, but it was not there.... hmmmm... He reached there before the coin...

* Rajinikanth was not amused by Gandhi’s non violence movement.

* Lifetime Warranty does not exist only because of Rajnikanth

* If you want a list of Rajinikanth's enemies, just check the extinct species list.

* When RAJNI had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.


Week 1


* The apple which fell on newton was actually thrown by Rajinikanth


* Only Rajinijanth has 32 wisdom teeth.

* When Rajinikanth goes thru immigration.. the officers show him thier passports

* Sun doesn't rise until Rajinikanth says 'Good Morning'

* Once Rajnikant, after chewing the 'PAAN', spit on the wall of a building.
Today that building is popularly known as THE RED FORT..

* Once Rajinikath shouted at a boy for not wearing cap in the hot sun.
Today that boy is known as Himesh Reshammiya.

* Rajnikanth Saw The Movie Break k Baad before the Break !!!

* Rajnikanth's pulse is measured in richter scale.

* Rajnikanth was practicing for a spelling test..the rough sheet he used is known as oxford dictionary..

* Rajnikanth has seen the face of the fat lady who owns the house in tom n jerry..

* Rajnikanth ploughs the field using nothing but his toes.

* Once spiderman,superman and batman visited rajnikant's house together.. it was teachers day!

* Rajinikanth can whistle and smile at the same time...

* Computer doesn't give warning message to Rajini… Rajini warns computer

* Rajini awards goes to Oscar

* Twitter follows Rajini

* When Rajnikant get angry at the Sun, it hides behind the moon… that phenomenon is called Solar eclipse.

* When rajnikant farts, all the girls follow him

* Rajini was born on 30th Feb, since then that date was removed from calendar so that noone else gets the same birthday.

* Rajnikanth can run Windows 7 on 64KB memory.

* Rajni never tweets, he only roars.

* Who can stop more than 50 cars with 1 hand... Trafic police.. Haar baar Rajinikanth thodi hoga...


Nov '2010 Post

Week 4

* God is not Rajinikanth.

* Once Rajni was fined by cops for overspeeding at a 75 miles/hr zone... while walking ...

* Rajnikanth can send an SMS from a Landline phone.

* Rajnikanth
doesn't write books... words assemble themselves.

* Rajinikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost.

* Rajinikanth doesn't shower. He only takes blood baths.

* Rajinikanth's brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury's.

* Rajni’s bike has semicircular tyres...

* We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth.

* Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.

* Every morning rajni goes for spacewalk.

* When Rajnikant dies..his tombstone will not read RIP...... ......... It will read.......BRB!!

Week 3


* Ghosts have been debating for ages whether Rajinikanth really exists or not.
  But they are scared anyway.

* In Rajinikanth's wedding, the fire took the saath phere of Rajinikanth and his bride.

* Only Rajinikanth can kiss his own ass.

* Computer viruses are looking for Anti-Rajinikanth software.

* When Rajnikanth was a kid he made his mom eat her vegetables.

* The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Rajnikant out.
  They didn't know that Rajinikanth can walk through walls.

* Rajnikant can tie his shoes with his feet. Wink !

* In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Rajnikant.
  The ones listed are in second place."

* Rajnikant can make a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.

* Rajnikanth and Superman once had arm wrestled and the loser had to wear his
  underwear over his pants... We all know who won..!! It was even worse for Spiderman.
  He had to wear his underwear over his head.

* Rajnikant irons his Pants with those still on.

* Rajnikant can squeeze orange juice from a banana.

* Rajnikanth can write into a READ ONLY file.

* Rajnikant once wrote his autobiography. Today that book is known as
  "Guiness book of world records" and his childhood homework is now called Wikipedia.


Week 2

* What do you call Rajnikanth's Aunty ?? Rajini-Ki-Aunt !!!

* Rajnikant first takes the gold medal and then starts the race

* Rajnikanth went for morning walk...... In the afternoon police stopped him.. Because he
  reached USA without visa..!!!

* Rajni gave permission to Sachin to score those hundreds..

* Alfred Noble is nominated for RAJNIKANTH award !

* Rajnikant knows the exact value of Pi upto a Googol

* Rajnikanth laughs at you and your silly jokes about him even before you think them up.

* Some actor set benchmarks in cinema, Rajnikanth sets deskmarks

* Rajnikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life unless it gets in his way.

* Whenever Rajnikant makes an error, it’s an invention.


Week 1

* Once God was surprised at something, he exclaimed "OMR" ("Oh my Rajnikaant!")

* There is no Ctrl button on Rajnikant's pc beacuse Rajnikant is always in control.

* Rajnikant cannot fly. He just jumps and chooses when to come down.

* Only Rajnikant knows Kaun Banega Crorepati.

* Only Rajnikant knows Choli Ke Peechhe Kya Hai.

* President is Indian citizen no.1...Rajnikant's number is 0

* Rajnikant twice won arguments with his wife.

* Rajini doesnít need water supply. He can mix hydrogen and oxygen and produce water
   whenever he wants.

* There in nothing RajiniíKant do.

* Rajnikanth runs until the Treadmill gets tired



Oct '2010 Post

* Rajinikanth wanted to organize a small show for his family and friends and
  that's how CommonWealth Games came to India.

* How did Paul Octopus died?? He was asked to predict Rajanikanth's death.


* The missing piece of the Apple logo was eaten by Rajinikanth.

* Rajinikanth's email id... gmail@RAJINIKANTH.com


* Rajinikanth had to make 24 runs in just 1 ball remaining. He hit the ball in such a way
  that it got broken into 4 pieces and he got 4 sixers.

* Genies rub Rajinikanth and he grants them three wishes.

* You will lose the game even though you have "3 aces" ... if the opponent have "1 Rajinikanth"

* Basketball player: "I can spin a basketball on my finger for 2 hours, can U?".
  Rajinikanth: "How the hell do U think the earth rotates? "

* Viagra needs Rajinikanth.

* Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.


* Warning on Condom packet "There is no such thing as protection from Rajinikanth!"

* Even Gajini remembers Rajini.

* Rajinikanth wear sunglasses to protect the sun from his rage.

* Rajinikanth can piss his name in concrete.

* Rajinikanth was offered Aamir's role in "Ghajini" but he denied. Because Rajanikanth
  can only give memory loss.


Older posts

* Rajanikanth can make onions cry.

* Rajanikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.

* Rajinikanth can divide by 0 (zero).

* Rajanikanth can build a snowman... out of rain.

* Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.

* Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.

* Rajinikanth doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

* Rajinikanth once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills.
They made him blink.

* Rajinikanth can handle the truth.

* Rajinikanth knows Victoria's secret.

* East India Company left India in 1947, because Rajinikanth was supposed to be born in 1949.

* Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.

* Rajinikanth doesn't breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.

* Death once had a near Rajinikanth experience.

* A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the    spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

* Rajinikanth made an IPhone 8G for himself.

* Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.

* Once upon a time, a wild boar got in Rajinikanth's way & was pulled up by his nose & thrown 30 miles away. Today its    descendents are known as elephants.

* Rajinikanth doesnt pay attention - attention pays him.

* Rajinikanth stared at the sun for hours, the sun then blink.

* Rajinikanth once entered a race he came first, second and third.

* Rajinikath once wrote a cheque the bank bounced.

* Once Rajinikanth while playing the game said "Statue" to a lady. Today it is known as the Statue of Liberty.

* Once Rajanikanth participated in 100 mts race and obviously he won. Light came second.

* A girl once lost her virginity. Rajinikanth brought it back.

* Once Rajinikanth was playing cricket, and he hit a six.... Now the ball is called Pluto.

* One nite while sleeping, Rajinikanth was mumbling some random numbers... That was how the log table was invented.

* Face book, twitter and orkut join Rajini today.

* Once a photo of Rajinikanth was given to get it xeroxed.... but got 2 xerox machhines.

* Rajinikanth knows which came first,the egg or the chicken.

* Whales live in deep oceans.. because they know Rajinikanth lives on land.

* Rajinikanth can cut diamond with his finger.

* Rajinikath doesn't use condoms... there is no such thing as protection from Rajinikanth

* Rajinikanth doesn't need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air    while the earth rotates.

* Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.

* There is no such thing as evolution, it's just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.

* Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has
  encountered Rajinikanth".

* Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than death can process them.

* Only Rajinikanth can make wind visible.

* If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Rajanikanth?" It simply replies, "Run while you still    have the chance."

* When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

* Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.

* Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of    everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

* Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

* There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.

* It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

* Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.

* Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.

* Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.

* When you say "No one's perfect", Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.

More coming soon... please check back later for more Rajinikanth ...

Dsiclaimer: These are just jokes and no way releated to any
living or dead person and shouldn't be taken seriously.
HA HA HA HA Corner - Editor's Pick !!
** God is not Rajinikanth !! **
** Even Gajini remembers Rajini !! **
** Rajinikanth can handle the truth !! **
** Only Rajinikant knows Choli Ke Peechhe Kya Hai. **
** Rajinikanth's pulse is measured in richter scale. **
** Only Rajinijanth has 32 wisdom teeth.
** Sun doesn't rise until Rajini says "Good Morning" !

** Rajinikanth can make his wife admit her mistakes
** Only Rajinikanth can kiss his own ass.

** Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.
** Adam and Eve are children of Rajinikanth

* Rajinikanth knows Victoria's secret.

Rajinikanth wear sunglasses to protect the sun.
The missing piece of the Apple logo was eaten by Rajinikanth.
Rajinikanth can piss his name in concrete.
Even Gajini remembers Rajini.
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** Smile. It confuses people.**

SIDE KICK
**Most innocent and heart touching lines said by a true lover to his girl friend on break up . "Behen mere gift wapas kar de ...Teri bhabhi ko de dunga"
** Jab sidhi ungli se ghee nehin nikalta hai... Ghee thoda garam kar lo... har baat mein ungli karna aachi baat nehin hai . Wink

** Now that Steve Jobs is in heaven, Apsaras are called iTem.
** Interviewer: "Why did you leave your last job? "
  Candidate: "The company relocated and didn't tell me where."
** Prist to Bride and Groom: "I now proniunce you husband and wife. You may update your facebook status."
**
My wife gives me sound advice. 99% sound and 1% advice.
** Fighing for peace is like @$%#ing for virginity
** To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is a research
** I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegeterian
** The shinbone is a device to find furniture in a dark room
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